Dawn is taking over the city with an orange haze in the east. The city's pollution is not yet visible, but if you stand still long enough and breathe-in, you can fill your lungs with that hydrogen fluoride Sunoco uses to produce high octane gas at its Marcus Hook plant on the Delaware River.
‘Mmmmmmmm...wake up and smell those roses.'
Eastbound traffic is starting to back up at the Conshohocken curve down to Girard Avenue. There is a disabled vehicle in the southbound lane on I-95 that will, before mid-morning, have cars in four southbound lanes creeping and crawling like cheetahs hunting buffalo in the tall African grass.
And its been at least 40 minutes since listeners tuned to 610 radio heard Angelo's annoying signature greeting, "Gooooood Mornnnnnning," just before he and his callers commence to making kindling out of the likes of David Wharton, Geoff Geary and Pat the Bat. It's the first tandem of the CIA.
"Go ahead, you're on 610 radio."
"Hey Ange, it's me, The Boomer."
"Yo Boom, what's up buddy? How they hangin?"
"Ange, I want to talk about that bum Pat-thetic. What a bum that guy is."
"You can say that again, Boom, what's on your mind this morning, pal?"
"Ange, that bum Pat-thetic, he wouldn't know a ball player if he walks into him, know what I mean? Know what I'm sayin'? Givin' that bum Garcia $10 million. If he give it to me, I'm down the shore for the summer, Ange."
"I'm with you on that one, Boomer, all the way, pal. Go ahead Boom, let's hear what you've got to say."
"Well, I'm thinking, Ange. Let's say Pat-thetic's walkin' down Market Street near the Reading Terminal, and Babe Ruth walks out of one of them stores? And bumps into him? I think Pat-thetic would say, ‘Hey fatso, watch where the hell you walkin'.'
I think he would say that, know what I mean, Ange?"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, yea, Boomer, I know exactly what you mean.
"Thanks for the call, Go ahead, you're on 610 radio."
ya doing this morning?...I want to talk about them bums runnin' the Phillies."
On this morning, the CIA, (Cataldi & Iskin on the Airways) were hammering Phillies President, David Wharton. It was hit ‘em high, hit ‘em low. Cataldi in the morning, from 6 a.m., then Howard takes over in late afternoon, and he hammers him some more.
For David, it's been a tough week.
"Ange," did you hear what the Phillies president said the other day, about the Sixers and the Flyers?"
"You better believe I did," Cataldi screems into the mike. "It's a disgrace. A total disgrace. An embarrassment to the city. He said ‘if we were the Sixers or the Flyers, we'd be in the playoffs for the past six years."
"Can you believe that?" Cataldi continued. "What's this guy got for brains, mush? A total disgrace."
Then Howard takes over at four.
"Listen nitwit," Irskin hollers at a caller who had the steel ones to say that David Wharton has done some good as Phillies President, "if you knew anything about anything, you'd know that David Wharton is an idiot. He built a house without any doors or windows, can't you see that, genius?
"I mean what's wrong with you? Are you an idiot or something? He says ‘if the Phillies were the Flyers or Sixers they'd be in the playoffs the last six years,' how stupid is that? Goodbye, bird brain."
And with that, Irskin hangs up on him.
"Go ahead, you're on 610, but don't go callin' me to say something good about David Wharton because off you go, you're so stupid..."
"Hey Howard," the next caller says, "you're the King, man. You are so right about David Wharton..."
On and on they go. This week, David Wharton can't catch a break.
He sits at his desk inside the Phillies complex, dabbing his nose with a hankie. ‘How can they say those things about me,' he thinks.
Then he picks up the phone.
"Get me Wheels right away."
Next: Wheels Saves David Wharton